


Exit, Pursued by a Cat

by AnnInymouse



Category: RedLetterMedia RPF
Genre: Animal Attack, Jealousy, M/M, Minor Violence, Possessive Behavior
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-29
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:08:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27768025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnInymouse/pseuds/AnnInymouse
Summary: Mike and Jay are dating, but a certain someone in Jay's life does not approve. Now this adversary is giving Mike the fight of his life, and it's up to Mike to make peace before it's too late.
Relationships: Mike/Jay
Comments: 6
Kudos: 22





	Exit, Pursued by a Cat

**Author's Note:**

> I had the thought "haha wouldn't it be funny if Jay's cat gave Mike hell" and it turned into this. This is about the Half in the Bag universe and their world only!

When Mike had gotten with Jay, finally, in a way that would stick after years of perseverance, he’d expected dozens of scorned ex-suitors to demand Jay’s attention back. He’d expected pushback from Jay’s friends, who tolerated his presence at best and surely were not thrilled that Mike had now captured Jay’s attention so finitely. He’d even expected some of Jay’s relatives to give pause, pulling Jay aside and asking politely if he was sure he wasn’t just settling in choosing Mike as his boyfriend. He had not, however, expected a foot and a half ten pound demon from Hell to make his every second at Jay’s place a living nightmare.

It hadn’t always been that way. Back when Mike and Jay were just friends, Laurie barely paid Mike any mind. He would maybe give her a perfunctory scratch behind the ears before she scampered off into Jay’s bedroom while they drank and watched movies in the living room, not so much as meowing or knocking anything over to draw attention to herself. Mike could even remember how unassuming she was on the day Jay brought her home a few years prior.

“This is Laurie,” Jay had cooed, hugging a black cat tight to his chest on some random night that Mike had shown up to Jay’s place for B-movie viewing. Jay had never cooed over anything in his life, and had never acted so affectionately to anyone as he had while cuddling that cat, family member or boyfriend or friend or otherwise. Seeing Jay act so lovingly had weirded Mike out, ignoring the prickle of jealousy that was forming in the back of his head.

“Hi…Laurie.” Mike had said, awkwardly raising a hand to her. The cat he blinked once to acknowledge his presence before spooning back into the assured warmth of Jay’s chest. “You, uh…when did you—?”

“I don’t know. I just…yesterday I stopped by that shelter near the shop, y’know the one I’m talking about?”

“Sure…”

“I went in just to look at a couple pets, not expecting to care about any of them. But then I pet her and we just…I don’t know, bonded or whatever. I know it sounds stupid…” Jay’s voice had trailed off, as if he was embarrassed that Mike knew he cared for another living creature. Knowing Jay and his aversion to showing emotion that was probably the case, but in truth it had touched Mike to see Jay finally open up to giving a shit about something that wasn’t a dumb art movie. In turn Mike hadn’t even bothered teasing him, only asking:

“Why Laurie?”

“After Laurie Strode!” Jay exclaimed, beaming, and the cat had chirped and cuddled deeper into Jay’s arms as if to say yes, I’m so happy this goddam dork found me and named me after a character from a now shitty horror franchise! And until recently, that had been the most interaction Mike had with her.

It wasn’t that he disliked cats. On the contrary— he loved animals. He just never had a pet growing up, and felt awkward around them now, not sure how to read their moods or how much attention they needed. The most obnoxious part was he tried, in earnest, to get on Laurie’s good side once he and Jay started dating. It had taken a month of stumbling home together, always at Mike’s place, before finally accepting that they were addicted to each other, every experience too good to consider maybe they shouldn’t behave like this, and that they were going to fall into the same bed at night for the rest of their years. Only then did Jay finally give in to Mike’s pouting and made their relationship exclusive. Mike was still riding this high as they made their way to Jay’s place after work for the first time as a couple.

“This is gonna be good,” Mike said for the millionth time, one hand on Jay’s knee while the other held the steering wheel. He’d noticed Jay got flushed whenever he drove like that, like even driving couldn’t detract Mike’s need to have his hands on Jay at all times. He squeezed Jay’s knee when he saw Jay roll his eyes.

“What difference does it make? This is what we’ve been doing every night for a month.”

“Yeah, but never at your place.”

“So? What does it matter whose place we’re at?”

Mike bit his tongue to keep from saying anything, but judging by the way Jay glared out the windshield he had a feeling they were thinking the same thing. Mike had always sworn he could feel the ghost of every ex-lover Jay had brought back to his apartment haunting him whenever he stepped foot in the place, especially in recent years when Mike had grown more and more aware of his feelings for Jay compounding with Jay getting hotter and presumably fucking around with more people. He couldn’t wait to cleanse the aura of Jay’s apartment with a good fuck, a sort of sex exorcism to banish the nasty spirits of his exes once and for all. He wanted to ask Jay if they could role-play a sexorcism, laughed at his own stupid pun, laughed harder when Jay turned his glare onto Mike directly, and decided to push things.

“Just excited to celebrate doing this for the first time as your _boyfriend_.”

“Horrible,” Jay muttered, but couldn’t fully tamp down the smirk growing on his face. Mike jostled his knee and continued prodding.

“Shall I carry you over the threshold?”

“What?”

“Carry you over the threshold, Jay. Through the door of your apartment. Bridal style.”

“Wha—that’s for when you get married. And own the house together. And it’s stupid.”

“So you’re saying you don’t want to celebrate becoming boyfriends?”

“Ugh, god, stop using that word.”

“Celebrate?”

“Oh fuck you,” Jay said, but finally broke out laughing. They pulled into the parking lot of Jay’s apartment complex as he did, allowing Mike to brake into a spot and kiss into his laugh.

“Okay, okay,” Jay said, giggling still when Mike had practically slobbered onto his face for a good few minutes. “Jesus, at least wait to do this when we’re inside.”

The autumn wind was biting on their way into the building, giving Mike the perfect excuse to pull a shivering Jay into his arms without room for him to protest the PDA. He allowed Mike to stay loosely wrapped around him as they made their way up the three flights of stairs to Jay’s apartment, even allowing a small peck at the door before letting them inside.

Like all demons good at their job, Laurie knew how to hold back. When Jay first opened the door to bring Mike in as a boyfriend, rather than just as the schlubby friend and coworker who came over for movies, she was batting at a jack-o-lantern Jay had set out on the island that separated the kitchen from the living room, trying to get her teeth around the stem.

“Laurie, don’t chew that!” Jay broke from Mike’s arms to shoo her away from the pumpkin. There were seven of them lined up on the counter, all different sizes, with no visible claw or teeth marks. She meowed softly and rubbed her head against Jay’s palm when he pushed her off the largest of the pumpkins, looking like she was sincerely sorry for messing with her owner’s nerdy ass Halloween decorations.

“Are you hungry?” Jay asked, picking her up as she curled into his arms. Mike wasn’t sure if he was talking to him or the cat.

“I think she’s crabby with me,” Jay said, still looking down into Laurie’s face as she purred at him. “Since I haven’t been home much.”

“Okay,” Mike said, not sure what the hell else to say to that. He kind of wanted to comment that she seemed anything but crabby with Jay, but didn’t feel like getting into whatever argument Jay would start by needing to refute Mike on his superior cat insight.

“Let me get you some food.” That one was definitely aimed at the cat, Jay even sealing off his promise with a kiss to her head as he put her down. Jay made his way around the counter and started shuffling through a cabinet while Laurie made her way into the living room and stretched out on her back, Mike making his way over to her. The thought of him and Jay getting married one day and therefore being a co-owner of Laurie crossed his mind, and he couldn’t keep the stupid grin that followed it off his face. His nervousness about pet ownership vanished at the thought of taking care of something with Jay, warming his heart so much that he was suddenly 100 percent on board with having a thousand cats roaming their place. He extended this warmth to Laurie as he cooed down at her, moving to pet her stomach, unknowingly sealing his doomed fate.

Laurie made her discomfort known immediately, wasting no time going into attack mode. She shrieked and hissed loud enough to be heard in the neighboring apartments, swatting at Mike’s hand with her claws out in full force.

“ _Fuck!”_ Mike yelled more out of shock than pain, though her claws had scratched his knuckles a considerable amount. Jay ran around the counter while Laurie darted toward his legs, stumbling over her as he leaned down to look at Mike.

“What happened?” He took Mike’s scratched hand, turning it over to examine for further damage. Genuine concern worried at the corners of his eyes, and Mike was too heartened by that to give a shit about the lingering sting of the scratch.

“I have no fucking clue. I just went to rub her belly and—“

“Oh, sorry,” Jay said, and just like that the worry was gone, replaced with a stupid, sheepish grin. “Cats don’t really like it when you touch their stomach. I thought you knew that.”

“Why the fuck would I know that!” Mike snapped, snatching his hand back from Jay. “Dogs like it!”

“Well…cats like different things—“

“Oh jesus christ,” Mike muttered, grabbing onto the counter with his good hand to hoist himself up from the floor.

“I’m sorry. And Laurie’s sorry too, aren’t you Laurie?” Jay said, still on the floor, craning his neck back to get a look at her. Mike could swear the little shit looked pleased with herself, but again didn’t feel like starting a cat argument with Jay.

“Here,” Jay said, getting up and taking Mike’s hand back. “I’ll clean and bandage this for you. Then we can have dinner and, um…”

“Make love?” Mike said, smirking down into Jay’s face.

“Ugh. Not if you call it that.”

“Your cat just attacked me, Jay, you can at least allow me this.”

“She didn’t attack you, you baby.” Mike wanted to refute this point, but before he could Jay was tending to his cut, even giving it a little kiss before smoothing a bandaid on, so he decided to let it drop.

By the time they were settled on Jay’s couch after dinner to watch a movie Mike had completely forgotten about the earlier incident with Laurie, only aware of the bandaid on his hand when it passed his field of vision. He was far more concerned with getting Jay so overwhelmed that they would have to fuck on the couch.

“Are we gonna watch a horror movie tonight, Jay?” Mike murmured into his ear, stroking the inside of Jay’s thigh while Jay mindlessly flipped through Netflix. “Do you have a little horror movie schedule for the month of October that you need to keep up with?”

“Yeah,” Jay said, his breath already coming out faster. “But. I’m behind.”

“Mhm, and why’s that?”

“Because...you fucker…ah…” Jay selected a movie at random before leaning back on the couch, closing his eyes as he slid down a little while opening his legs wider for Mike’s touch.

Mike stroked Jay’s inner thigh, getting him to shiver before leaning for a kiss, pulling him into his lap. Jay straddled him once they were settled, sliding his hands into Mike’s hair as he clamped his legs around Mike’s hips.

Mike wanted to make a smart ass remark, but Jay’s lips were already on him, and any thought besides how hot and sweet Jay’s tongue felt against his own vanished from his mind. He held Jay closer to him, one arm slung across his back, clutching Jay to his chest, the hand on the other threading through Jay’s hair, reveling in how soft it was. He’d let it grow so long these past few months, and the timing could not have been better. Mike loved grabbing as much of it as he could in his fist while fucking into Jay and pulling on it hard, feeling like a king when Jay cried out and arched further into Mike’s thrusting. But at that moment he was gentle, tugging lightly before rubbing it between his fingers, deepening their kiss when it made Jay moan.

“That feel good?” Mike muttered against Jay’s lips, pulling on Jay’s hair more as he did. He wasn’t ready to stop kissing yet, but he loved watching how petulant and needy Jay got when Mike denied him something. Breaking a kiss too early was enough to get him there, rolling his hips against Mike’s stomach and nibbling on his lip like he couldn’t bear to not be touched there. He was breathing heavy, his whole chest heaving with want as he looked down at Mike, eyes near black and swimming with lust. He tried to press their lips back together and whined when Mike held him back by his hair. The whine melted into a moan when Mike leaned in to start sucking at Jay’s neck.

Mike worked on Jay’s neck for a few minutes, riling him up until he finally bit down on the spot that made Jay go crazy, a little strip of skin right before his neck met his shoulder. Jay bucked his hips predictably as Mike bit and sucked there, hard enough that it would leave a bruise.

“Mm, there’s your spot.” Jay whined at Mike’s teasing, stuttering his hips further into Mike’s stomach. Mike could feel Jay’s erection poking his gut, moving his hands down to Jay’s waist and pulling him back so he couldn’t properly hump it against Mike, laughing deep in his chest when this got Jay to whine harder.

“Has anyone else ever found this spot?” Mike asked, licking over the red mark that was already forming there as a half-apology. “Or am I the only lucky one?”

“Nngh…I don’t know, Mike, ahh…”

“Oh, come on, Jay.” Mike bit the spot once more before pulling back to smirk in Jay’s face. “Humor me.”

Jay groaned, glaring down at Mike like he wasn’t sure if he wanted to tell him off or begrudgingly admit how much he loved being teased like this.

“I…you make it feel better than anyone else has. Is that what you want to hear?”

“So other guys _have_ found it.”

“Goddammit, why do you want to hear about what other guys have or haven’t done with me?”

“I don’t know, Jay, you tell me.” Mike reached up to tug his hair, some of the annoyance in Jay’s eyes giving way to lust when he did. “You’re the one who started it.”

“I—“ Jay started, his voice faltering and nose twitching in anger at being backed into this corner. He couldn’t argue this point and Mike was going to run with it for as long as he could.

“Don’t lie Jay,” Mike said, smoothing his hands down Jay’s body until he had both hands around Jay’s waist, gripping tight. “You love being a little tease.

“No,” Jay huffed, trying to squirm in Mike’s grasp to counter his point.

“Yeah you do,” Mike murmured, sucking on Jay’s neck again to get him to whine. “That’s why we’re together. You wanted to taunt me and brag about being a little slut until I had no choice but to bend you over.”

Jay moaned, trying to hold Mike’s head to his neck so he would keep working on the spot Jay liked. Mike gave it a quick lick and shook his head easily out of Jay’s grip.

“Admit it, Jay. That’s why you tormented me with stories of all the guys who’ve fucked you.”

“I wasn’t tormenting you,” Jay whined. If Mike wasn’t in the middle of teasing the shit out of him he would’ve kissed him for how adorable it was. “I just…drank too much and…and complained, or whatever.”

“Mhm, _complained_ , about how no guy could fuck you the way you wanted, how you couldn’t find any guys in Milwaukee who could satisfy your slutty ass.”

“I didn’t s…say it, like that— _OH.”_ Mike had cupped his hand around Jay’s dick, hard and confined in his jeans, allowing him to jut up against Mike’s palm a bit.

“Really, Jay? You weren’t saying it so I’d know that you needed me to show you what kind of a fuck you needed? Poor baby, you even went all the way to Chicago to find someone to fuck you right.” Jay was whimpering, near gone for this, some drool pooling out of his mouth when he moaned as Mike squeezed his trapped dick.

“That was o…one time, _oh_. Oh, fuck, Mike, please, _please_ —“

“Please what, Jay?”

“Please…take my dick out, at least, touch me, I need you—”

“I will,” Mike said, fake sweetness oozing in his voice. When he nipped Jay’s neck Jay let out a dry sob, a sign that Mike had him in the zone where he’d say or do anything to please him. “Just admit it and I’m yours.”

“Admit, _ha_ , huh?”

“Admit that you knew what you were doing last month when you told me about all the guys you’d fucked with, how none of them got it right, how you said all that knowing I would make a move on you and you would finally, finally, get what you wanted.”

Jay made a pained hiccup noise, pulling back slightly to glare down at Mike, annoyance trying to cut through the needful heat in his eyes.

“You f…fucker, f— _ha_ —fine, yes, I said all that shit knowing it would piss you off and get you to fuck me. And you did and I need it again, you asshole, so just…just, _please_ —“

Mike shut him up by smashing their lips together, rolling his hips up when Jay melted into him. He let it go on for longer than it needed to, unable to stop just yet, even for sex, finding it more urgent to bite and suck on Jay’s lips until they were puffy with use, red and shiny with proof that Mike had claimed even this small inch of him.

“Are you happy now?” Jay muttered when Mike finally pulled back, trying and failing to sound annoyed. Mike smirked in his face, lifting him off his lap to lie him down.

“Of course,” Mike whispered, stroking Jay’s sides when he was lying flat on his back, shivering with need. “Gonna show you how happy you make me.”

It was at this moment that the fucking cat decided to make her presence known.

Without warning Laurie pounced onto Jay’s chest, swatting Mike’s face with her tail as she settled onto him. Mike had no fucking clue where she had come from, could swear she just appeared from thin air like a demon from Hell snapping into the mortal realm to create chaos.

Mike hovered above them, dumbstruck, his heart still racing from the shock of her surprise entrance. Laurie was ignoring him completely, kneading her little paws into Jay’s chest, rubbing her face onto his, all the while purring like this was the greatest joy of her life. Jay laughed a little, face flushed as he pet her. She leaned into his hands needfully, her purrs getting louder.

“Okay,” Jay said, sitting up and clutching her to his chest. Mike sat back on his heels, unable to keep from moping about their moment being interrupted.

“There you go,” Jay said softly as he leaned over to put her on the floor. She meowed in protest, jumping onto the couch and into his arms the second he sat back up. Jay sighed, seeming more amused than irritated. The rational side of Mike’s brain knew this was a stupid reason to sulk, but he seemed incapable of doing anything else as he watched Jay hug Laurie to his chest.

“Aww sweetie, not now, okay?”

 _Sweetie_?

Jay got up, giving her little pecks on the head as he carried her out of the room. His boner was mostly gone, but he still had an awkward little gait as he disappeared further into his apartment. Mike was too fired up to appreciate that.

Because _sweetie_? The fuck? Jay avoided cutesy pet names like the plague, even finding the dirty ones corny unless he was too far gone in Mike’s thrall to protest. Yet he seemed to have no problem saying them to the damn cat, even giving her sweet little kisses as he doted on her with a smile.

Mike sat glaring at the stupid movie they’d put on, his emotions too scattered to think about how ridiculous it was that he was honestly jealous over some animal. He was just whiplashed from being forced to come out of the scene he’d created, that was all.

He wiped the pout off his face when Jay came back in the room, looking flustered and apologetic.

“Sorry about that,” Jay said as saddled up to Mike’s side, pressing kisses to his cheek and neck. “I locked her in the bedroom so she won’t come out here again.”

Mike grunted, not convinced she wouldn’t find a way to teleport herself out of the room somehow and land on Jay’s shoulders. Before he could endeavor to pout more about this Jay was climbing back into his lap, kissing him in a way that made Mike snap out of it.

They wound up pawing at each other for a while longer before tearing each other’s clothes off and exchanging blow jobs. Jay’s hot little mouth felt so good on him that Mike couldn’t really mourn being forced to abandon his earlier plans to fuck Jay on the couch too deeply. The couch went far back enough that Mike could lay on his side with Jay spooned up against him, watching TV until they both dozed off, too cozy to relocate to Jay’s bed just yet.

At one point Jay jostled Mike up, dragging him by the arm into the bedroom. Half awake, Mike was vaguely aware of Laurie scampering around their feet as Jay pushed Mike into bed, leaving to do his little nighttime routine. Mike forced his eyes open long enough to feel Jay return, pulling him into his arms, against his bare chest, before falling into a deep sleep, the feeling and scent of Jay surrounding him as he drifted off.

Morning came, groggy and confusing. Lifted out of sleep, Mike could have sworn he still had Jay wrapped tightly in his arms, yet he felt someone scratching at his hair, waking him. He burrowed deeper into the pillow, trying to ignore whatever phantom sense from his dreams had followed into the real world, but the scratching only got more persistent. Before his brain could fully wake up he felt something sharp claw into his forehead, stinging enough to cause him to jump.

He made some sort of garbled shriek as he shot up, poor Jay flopping out of his arms. Hearing something fall to the floor he turned, only to see a small black figure dart out of the room, bumping the door open wider as it left. He groaned, lifting his hand to his head to feel for damage.

“Wha’ happened,” Jay slurred, buried in the sheets and blinking gummy, sleep heavy eyes at Mike.

“Your goddam cat woke me up by trying to dig into my fucking skull,” Mike snapped, too agitated to acknowledge how sweet Jay looked coming out of sleep.

“She does that to me sometimes,” Jay murmured, his eyes slipping back closed. “And that’s where she usually sleeps, so. She’s probably annoyed. Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” He couldn’t feel any blood, just the slight bump of a scratch mark. “You wanna get up?”

“Mm.” Jay was fading fast, probably didn’t even hear the question, all the tension he carried daily melted away when he was rested like this. Mike’s anger towards Laurie subsided, lovesickness coursing through him as he jumped up to close the door before she could saunter back in and demand their attention. He cuddled Jay even tighter when back in bed, kissing his face and tickling his sides until he felt Jay laugh quietly against his skin, drifting off to the steady rise of Jay’s chest against his own.

When he woke again it was to Jay squirming against his side, far more pleasant than his previous wake up call. Jay stirred once more before getting out of Mike’s arms with a parting kiss, slinging the bathrobe he kept on the back of his door around his naked frame. Mike lay in bed listening to Jay patter around in the bathroom, forcing himself out of bed when it sounded like Jay would be in there for a while, stripping a blanket off Jay’s bed to shield himself from the chill that had crept in overnight. He meandered around the apartment, looking at all the posters and photos that framed Jay’s bedroom and hallway walls. They were all items he was familiar with, but it felt different seeing them now, more homely, like he could honestly envision a shared place where Jay hung all his memorabilia alongside Mike’s instead of imagining such a future during late nights when he was pining for Jay and feeling sorry for himself. Now it all seemed so close at hand, more inevitability than fantasy.

Drifting into the living on the cloud nine that was their future, he barely paid any mind to Laurie, who was playing with her scratching post, her black fur looking almost brown in sunlight that bathed her. Mike leaned down to grab his clothes from the pile they’d been dumped in next to the couch, debating whether Jay would be mad if he walked into the living room to see Mike changing or if it could be waved off as some couple’s quirk, when he paused. His clothes felt….damp. Wet, even. His jeans and boxers, which had been on top of the pile, were near soaked, his shirt and socks saturated with whatever had bled through.

He was almost certain of what it was, lifting it carefully to his nose just to be sure. A quick whiff confirmed it, anger roiling through him, and he couldn’t help whipping his head toward Laurie with a snarl, nor the shout of ‘ _Goddammit!'_ that echoed throughout the apartment.

“What?” Jay scurried into the room still wearing just a robe. He looked worried and frazzled, like Mike’s shouting had cut his morning routine short.

“Your _cat_!” Mike thrust an accusatory finger in Laurie’s direction, who paused in her scratching to look at him for a beat before idly going back to it. The blanket slid off his body, pooling next to the clothes. He made no attempt to pick it up, too annoyed to feel modest about his nakedness.

“Yeah?” Jay looked confused and considerably less worried. “What about her?”

“What about her is she pissed all over my fucking clothes!”

“Oh.” Jay looked over at Laurie, who looked back at him, her yellow eyes wide with innocence, as if to say _well gee, how could I not piss all over your boyfriend’s shit_? Mike swore he saw Jay’s lips twitch into a smile, filling him with new rage.

“Is that it?”

“Is that—of course that’s it! What the fuck! My clothes are fucking soaked in cat piss!” It occurred to him he was still holding the clothes for some reason, throwing them back onto the ground with vocal disgust.

“Mike it’s not…she didn’t do it on purpose.” Jay had the audacity to walk past Mike, beelining for Laurie, scooping her up in his arms as she meowed in delight. “Did you, Laurie?”

He hugged her tight, even giving her a little kiss between the ears, while Mike was near ready to explode. He was also pretty sure the cat was laughing at him while Jay coddled her, but it was hard to see with the amount of sheer annoyance clouding his vision.

“You’re not gonna punish her for peeing all over my goddam clothes?”

“I mean, I can’t really. If I yell at her now she won’t know why I’m upset. You have to discipline them in the moment—“

“My clothes are pretty fucking wet here, Jay, so I don’t think we’re that far past the moment.”

“Alright! Jesus.” Jay huffed, turning Laurie around until she was facing him, holding her an arm’s length away. “Laurie, that was very, very bad. Don’t pee outside your litter box, ok? Bad Laurie.”

Jay’s voice was dripping with mock scorn, unable to keep from laughing when Laurie whined as he lightly shook her around. She jumped out of his arms and trotted out of the room, not giving Mike so much as a parting glance. He was glaring at her departing figure when Jay came over to wrap his arms around him.

“There, are you happy?”

“Don’t patronize me, Jay,” Mike sniffed. “What the fuck am I supposed to wear home?”

“Mm, maybe I’ll just keep you naked in my bed forever.” Mike was moping too much to be charmed by this, even when Jay peppered it off with little kisses to his arm.

“I’m serious, Jay, I have to change eventually—“

“Oh my god, you fucking baby, I have an in-unit washing machine.” Jay gathered up both his and Mike’s clothes, wrinkling his nose a little bit in the process and glaring at Mike when he snorted at him for that. He opened the closet on the side of the kitchen table that Mike had never thought to snoop in before, revealing a washer and dryer.

“I never knew you had that.”

“Yeah, well, today’s the day you learn I guess.”

“Why didn’t you tell me? You know how much money I could’ve saved bringing my shit here instead of hauling it to the laundromat all these years?”

“What, and run up my water bill?”

Jay turned back to him, the washing machine whirring behind him. His nose was twitching like it did whenever he couldn’t conceal being annoyed. Between that, his ridiculous bathrobe, and his messy, half-done hair, he looked adorable. Mike couldn’t resist crossing the room to pull him into his arms.

“Ugh, stop,” Jay said, trying to squirm out of Mike’s grip. “You’re being mean to my cat.”

“You have to admit she started it.” He kissed the top of Jay’s head, shivering a little for still being naked. He tried opening Jay’s robe up to wrap around both of them, Jay successfully wriggling away before he could.

“She’s upset that I haven’t been home, and she’s not used to having someone else here. That’s all.”

“What! I come over all the time.”

“Yeah but not…ugh, not, like, staying the night and sleeping in my bed and shit.”

“So? Did she pitch this much of a fit with your other boyfriends, or whatever the hell you called them?”

Jay turned bright red, mumbling to the ground something Mike couldn’t hear.

“What?” Mike stepped closer, Jay’s nose twitching again as he did. “I can’t hear you.”

“I said I wouldn’t know.” Jay huffed, crossing his arms before fixing his steely gaze on Mike, trying to look tough and failing so adorably in the process. “I wouldn’t…I never…brought a guy home before.”

Silence followed, Mike unsure what the hell to make of this information, Jay refusing to offer any more.

“So you’ve never…all that stuff you said was a lie—“

“No!” Jay snapped. “I’ve been with guys. Obviously. I just. Ugh. I always went to their place. I never wanted to bring anyone here.” Jay looked almost panicked as Mike stared in confusion.

“Why are you looking at me like that! It’s not weird, I just…it’s so much easier to leave someone’s place than it is to kick them out of your own, and I hated spending the night most of the time…Mike, stop staring!” Jay was whining by the time he was done, a petulant little scowl wrinkling his face when Mike pulled him back in for a hug, laughing.

“You’re such a goddam dork.” Jay huffed but made no further objection to this, relaxing a little in Mike’s grip when he kissed his hair. “So I’m the only guy worthy of sleeping in your bed—“

“Goddammit, I knew you would turn it into some dick waving shit.” Mike was in full evil cackle mode when Jay pushed him away, swatting when he tried to grab at him. “Get the blanket off the floor and put it back on my bed.”

“The bed that only I am worthy of?”

“You are beyond pushing it.”

Mike was in high spirits again as he collected the blanket, smirking at Laurie as she fixed her gaze on him from the corner of Jay’s bedroom, darting out when he plopped himself and the blanket on Jay’s bed. He beamed when Jay came in shortly after to join him at his side, closing the bedroom door behind him. As he kissed the pout off Jay’s face he felt stupidly proud, like he was the real victor of this battle, too giddy to realize the war had only just begun.

***

For several days following the scratching and urinating incident Mike was constantly reminded of and annoyed by Laurie’s presence. On nights where Jay stayed over Mike’s apartment he would still go over to his own for a couple hours to “be there” for Laurie, no longer just stopping by his place quick to give her food and clean her litter box like he had when they first started fooling around. As bothersome as it was to have Jay out of his orbit for even a few hours while they rode out their honeymoon phase, nights spent at Jay’s were near hell.

Jay did deserve some credit, taking strides to keep Laurie out of the room whenever Mike was over after the pissing debacle, but lo and behold his efforts were in vain. Laurie was crafty, making her presence known even if she physically couldn’t be in the room, forcing themto be more aware of her when she was out of sight. If Jay locked her in the bedroom while they cuddled on the couch to watch movies, it was only a matter of time before the loud crash of Laurie knocking something over interrupted whatever they were enjoying, even after Jay meticulously went through his room for two hours the first time it happened to secure and move loose items away from her ire.

Locking her out of a room was worse. Jay still let Laurie sleep at the foot of the bed, fearing his apartment would be torn to shreds if she was denied spending nights there. She was, however, locked out of the bedroom whenever Mike and Jay went in there for sex, and she had no problem making her displeasure of Mike having Jay’s full, exclusive attention known. Every single time she would scratch and cry at the door, sometimes pounding on it with her little body. No amount of music or their own vocal expressions of lovemaking, as Mike had once called it before Jay forbade him from ever using that term again, could truly drown her out. On one such night she was so loud that it killed the mood entirely, forcing them to get dressed and unlock the door.

“Aw, you’re feisty tonight, aren’t you?” Jay had said as she scampered onto the bed, curling up next to her to hug her to his chest. Mike went into the kitchen to get them beers and silently scream into his hands.

He had a hard time falling asleep that night, a combination of beer buzz, sexual frustration, and general annoyance keeping him awake while Jay slept soundly at his side, Laurie purring in her sleep just a few feet away. Even when sleep finally came to him he remained restless, waking up in fits and starts almost every hour, getting up to go to the bathroom at one point.

Light poles outside Jay’s window allowed a strip of light to break through the dark, which was how Mike stopped himself just in time from crushing Laurie when he went to get back into bed. She had wasted no time stealing his spot; Mike had never gotten up before Jay, though he woke every morning to Laurie clawing at his face before Jay woke up to shoo her away. Now Mike had inadvertently let his guard down, and she had been prepared to take back what was once hers. He knew moving her would be futile but tried it anyway, bailing when she hissed at his approaching hand, tensing up on the bed in a way that let Mike know she was ready and willing to pounce on him and claw his fucking face off if he dared move any closer. Mike hissed back before dragging himself into the living room, resigned to spending the rest of the night attempting to sleep on Jay’s couch. The couch itself was fine, but the only pillow was a lumpy, decorative one, the threading of its design digging into his cheek, and the only blanket was a ratty thing Jay kept draped over the top, covered in Laurie’s hair. Eventually he fell back asleep, bitterness following him into his dreams.

“Why are you on the couch?”

Mike stirred at the sound of Jay’s voice, blinking against the harsh sunlight that pooled in from both the living room and kitchen windows. Jay was hovering over him, looking concerned, possibly a little hurt. Laurie was sitting at his feet, her head cocked in Mike’s direction, a picture of perfect innocence.

“Laurie stole my spot when I got up to take a leak.”

“Oh.”

Jay sounded like he wanted to laugh but wisely didn’t, instead making Mike pancakes and coffee that he served to him on the couch. They were running late for work but Mike wasn’t about to turn down a Jay-served meal, nor his kisses and the promisethat they could spend that night at Mike’s apartment despite Halloween being the following day. Mike knew that Jay wanted to set up some last minute decorations, but was willing to sacrifice that time to give Mike a break from Laurie’s terror, or at least to placate his complaining. Either way he was touched, until Jay pulled Laurie onto his lap to pet her, draining much of Mike’s appreciation.

“I think she’s plotting to kill me,” Mike said as they lay together that night, cozy under the blankets of Mike’s bed, Jay spooned against Mike’s chest. Jay snorted, patting Mike’s arm around him.

“She’s not gonna kill you, Mike. She’s just…I don’t know. Territorial. It’ll pass.”

His voice was slurry with sleep, but he stayed awake long enough to add: “Maybe you could be friendlier with her.”

He conveniently passed out right after that, leaving Mike awake and agitated for the second night in a row.

He wound up not falling asleep until almost four a.m., Jay waking him just a few hours later. Halloween being on a Saturday meant Jay wanting to leave Mike’s place first thing in the morning, anticipating early trick or treaters. Mike moped and took his time crawling out of bed but ultimately followed Jay out in a timely fashion. He spent most of Halloween sitting on the couch while Jay answered the door, graciously showing off Laurie whenever a kid begged him to show them his cat. The kids fawned over her, _ooh_ ing and _ahh_ ing as he held her out for pets and head scratches. She basked in the attention, purring loudly as they showered her with affection. The parents took equal time in commenting over how cute Laurie was and glaring at Mike when they noticed him in the apartment, as if they knew he was the one responsible for all the loud late-night noises that now came out of Jay’s apartment. He was tempted to fight back against their scorn by announcing that they wouldn’t be so loud if they didn’t have to drown the cat’s whines out. Instead he remained unmoving from the couch, seething.

“I should have decorated more,” Jay sighed over dinner. They were sitting next to one another, Mike unwilling to detach himself from Jay after fading into the background all day. The ticker or treaters had dwindled by then, only two families coming to the door in the past hour.

“Jay, your apartment is Halloween-ready 365 days a year. What more could you have possibly put up?”

“I don’t know. Maybe some mechanical bats hanging from the ceiling…some more cauldrons…I’ve been thinking about getting a smoke machine—“

“Jesus Christ.”

“What!” Jay’s cheeks were flushed but he was laughing, the shade deepening when Mike pushed their feet together under the table. It felt so calm, so domestic, his mind fuzzy with content and the seemingly endless supply of pumpkin beers Jay had stocked up on. For a moment all the stresses of the past few weeks were gone, the fog of every indiscretion that had happened completely evaporated by the warmth of a home cooked meal.

“Aw, Jay.” He pushed their feet together closer. “You’re all flustered.”

“You’re all annoying.”

The comeback was too stupid not to kiss Jay, who was mid-bite and swallowed awkwardly before kissing back. Mike cupped his face in his hands, feeling his hot little cheeks grow even warmer for his touch. Before Jay he’d never had a bearded partner, and he didn’t think he’d ever be over marveling his thumbs through the coarse hairs that framed his jaw. Jay leaned further into the kiss, wrapping his arms around Mike’s neck, holding him even closer to him. It was maybe the sweetest Jay had ever been. When they had to break apart to breathe Jay almost whined, running his tongue lightly against Mike’s bottom lip before settling down.

“Got any little parties you want to go to tonight?” Mike asked as they breathed into each other’s faces. It was a dangerous question, meant to come off as flirting but risked ruining the mood. Mike had heard through the grapevine of Jay’s obnoxious friends over the years that Jay often got wasted at a friend’s annual Halloween party and would go home every year with someone new and random.

“God no. Don’t really feel like dealing with anyone else right now.”

Mike moaned and crushed Jay with another kiss, who looked smug for it when Mike pulled back. He was drunk enough on Jay and the beers to feel emboldened, trying to lift Jay out of his chair to carry him to the bedroom, unable to do more than fall into an awkward hug as Jay laughed and squirmed out of his grip.

“Cut it out,” Jay said, still giggling as he collected their plates. “I need to wash these.”

“C’mon Jay, it’s Halloween. Do something bad, like leaving your dirty dishes out.”

“Ew, no. Go sit on the couch, I wanna watch at least one movie before we, um. Do anything.”

Mike snickered, pecking Jay on the cheek before he got pushed towards the living room. He was in such a good mood he didn’t even mind that Laurie was stretched out on the couch, her little body plopped in the middle and extended to take up as much room as possible. She’d been dozing since Jay started making dinner, exhausted from a day of preening. Mike tried jostling her awake, but she wouldn’t budge. He leaned down to whisper in her face, as if gentle verbal prodding would coax her out of sleep and into a new corner of the room.

“Laurie. Laurie wake up. Lauriiieee, c’mon, I need the couch.”

Laurie was steadfast in remaining where she was, stretching once to give off the impression that she would get up only to settle back down. Mike, still in a good mood and refusing to admit defeat, decided to just pick her up and gently place her on the floor.

In hindsight it was the dumbest thing he could have possibly done.

Reflecting upon it in the aftermath, he would try to privately recall if he had ever realized it was a bad idea, or if his drunken, lovesick brain really thought he could touch the cat without any repercussions despite weeks of evidence that should have led him to the opposite conclusion. Nevertheless he’d done it, instantaneously paying the price.

It was unclear if he had managed to lift her at all or if she’d contorted her body to get as close to him as possible to deal maximum damage, but it didn’t really matter. The fact remained that somewhere in the process of trying to pick Laurie up she freaked the fuck out, extended her claws to full capacity, gnashed her teeth, and sunk both into Mike’s face. Unlike the quick scratch of Mike’s hand a few weeks prior, Laurie made a point of latching onto Mike this time, digging in deep with every sharp part of her body, dragging and clamping down with surprising strength. Mike was pretty sure he tried to drop her, or fell back, that an effort was made to get the hell away from her, but she was not to be deterred in her mission to claw his skin off. She stuck mostly to the face, dragging down to his neck at times. It didn’t help that Mike had to keep his eyes scrunched shut, her gouging dangerously close to taking at least his right eyeball out. Mike had no idea what was coming out of his mouth, garbled swearing mixed in with Laurie’s hissing and spitting.

It had felt like she had endless time to mark up his face, but in reality Jay had rushed over to them a few seconds into the fight, adding his own frantic yelling to the mix. Mike felt water spray his face, Laurie’s scratching dying down as it did, Jay grabbing her by the scruff when she’d calmed down enough to detach. Mike was dazed, lying on the ground with a hand over the eye she kept getting close to. He watched feebly as Jay whisked Laurie away, one hand supporting her back feet, the other still gripping her scruff. He was screaming at her in an angry tone Mike had heard only a handful of times in the near twenty years he’d known him. It freaked him out every time Jay shouted like that, his anger echoing throughout the entire apartment, and despite the throbbing pain and the scars that were surely already forming and disfiguring him, he felt bad for Laurie.

He groaned, wallowing in his pity by remaining on the floor, grabbing a couch cushion that had somehow wound up next to him to prop his head up. The bathroom sink was running, the clatter of cabinets opening and closing accompanying it, all a backdrop to Jay’s continued yelling. He’d quieted enough that Mike couldn’t make out exactly what was being said, just that Jay still seemed furious. Minutes passed before he left the bathroom, shouting at Laurie to stay in there before slamming the door shut.

“Your face!” was the first thing Jay said as knelt down next to Mike, balancing a washcloth, peroxide, and bandages in his little hands. His voice sounded watery, like he was near tears, another rare Jay expression. Whatever his perspective of the fight had been seemed to have shaken his poor little soul, so much that Mike was almost tempted to be the one to do the comforting. He resisted the urge when he felt Jay’s hand on his less scratched cheek, the damp washcloth dragging over the other side. Jay was soft with him in spades, and he was going to bask in it.

“What happened?” Jay asked after a few minutes of silence, letting go of Mike for a moment to pour peroxide on the washcloth, wincing in solidarity when Mike hissed as it made contact with his cuts.

“I don’t know,” Mike said, trying to soften the blow for Laurie’s sake despite everything. Getting legitimately yelled at by Jay was akin to capital punishment in his eyes. “I guess it’s my fault, I went to move her—“

“No,” Jay said, so sharply it shocked Mike, shutting him up. “She…that was ridiculous. She’s gotten hissy before but never like that. Especially if you were just picking her up, that’s…I don’t know why she would attack you like that, I don’t know what’s gotten into her, she’s been so clingy this past month but I never thought she’d do something like this…Mike I’m so sorry.”

“Jay,” Mike groaned, trying to sit up until Jay lay a hand on his chest to keep him down. Jay was close to blubbering, talking fast, his voice breaking more on every word. He was going to be fretting about this for a while, Mike could tell, unable not to beat himself up over his cat acting on animal instinct.

“Jay,” he tried again as Jay bandaged his face. “It’s fine, really. She’s a cat and I freaked her out. Maybe the scars will make me look cool, like Snake Plissken, your favorite. We can role-play—“

“Oh god, shut up.” Jay was at least laughing now, if a little weakly, trailing kisses over Mike’s face before landing on his lips. “I don’t think you’ll scar, it looks like most of the scratches are pretty shallow.”

Jay pulled back, stretching Mike’s eyelids open and looking into them with almost goofy wide-eyedness before brushing Mike’s lids closed with his thumb.

“Looks like she didn’t scratch your eyes, thank god. Do they hurt at all?”

“No.” Mike blinked up at him, adoration racing through his body like a wildfire, a far better burn than Laurie’s mauling or the peroxide. Jay looked so sad and sweet hovering above him, concern for Mike’s well-being shading every inch of his face.

“I love you,” Mike said, the first time either one of them was saying it out loud and clear, not just mumbled into the other’s skin as they came down from sex or were falling asleep.

“Okay. Um, good.” Jay mumbled, the concern leaving his face as red hot embarrassment took over. He sighed when Mike glared at him, stroking over the bandages before saying, “I love you, too.”

“Good.” Mike smirked up at him, laughing when Jay leaned down to bite his lip before soothing it over with this tongue, which was how they capped off Halloween by making out on the floor of Jay’s living room, Jay lying on top of Mike’s body while Mike wrapped his arms around him tight. They were both too exhausted to get off any further or watch whatever movie Jay had wanted to put on, stopping after a while to drag themselves into Jay’s bed. Jay let Laurie out of the bathroom as Mike stripped off his clothes and crawled under the covers. He heard Jay forbid Laurie from sleeping in the bedroom that night before the door shut, only Jay climbing into bed next to him.

“Plissken didn’t have scars.” Jay murmured at one point, snapping Mike out of the sleep he was close to falling into. He’d been sure Jay had passed out already, breathing evenly against the hug Mike had pulled him into.

“Hmm?”

“Snake Plissken. He doesn’t have any scars, just the eye patch.”

“Your cat may have permanently disfigured my face and you still feel the need to correct my movie references?”

Jay huffed, squirming a little in Mike’s arms.

“You made me say _I_ _love you_ out loud, so. We’re even.”

Mike snorted, kissing the top of Jay’s head, falling asleep with his nose buried in Jay’s hair. He dreamed he was lost in a forest, tree branches curling into claws as they came to life and hit his face. He kept running through anyway, under the impression that Jay was lost in the forest, too, and Mike had to find him before something awful happened.

The stresses of the dream followed him into the real world, feeling on edge despite it being the first morning he’d woken up in Jay’s bed without Laurie clawing at his face, as though the change in routine was a signal of something worse.

Jay woke up shortly after, both of them dressing before Jay retreated into the bathroom, shutting the bedroom door behind him so Laurie couldn’t sneak in. Mike felt bad for the treatment she was getting, tempted to open the door and let her curl up in bed as a peace offering. His face was still throbbing with the pain of her attack though, so. Maybe not yet.

Breakfast was a quiet affair, Laurie slinking around in the background while they ate at the island, some healthy oats bullshit that Jay insisted on to counter the Halloween treats they’d been snacking on. The whole apartment felt haunted with tension, as though Laurie was some ghost they were trying to pretend wasn’t floating around.

“I think maybe I should spend the day with her,” Jay said as he cleared their plates, the first thing either of them had said all morning. “A…alone.”

“Okay.” Mike already felt himself missing Jay, which was a little ridiculous, and it wasn’t like he disagreed. Full uninterrupted Jay-time was a luxury, one that would hopefully snap Laurie out of whatever possessive anger she felt towards Mike. Also Mike kind of wanted to unwind from the night before with _Star Trek_ , something Jay even in his most doting state of mind would never agree to.

“Please don’t be mad,” Jay whimpered, turning from the sink to face Mike. His eyes looked red rimmed, like he was about to cry, breathing deep to keep the tears at bay. “I just think…maybe if I spend time with her she’ll cool down—“

“Jesus, Jay, I agree with you.” Mike kissed him, moaning for how Jay’s lips were trembling. “You freakout almost as bad as she does,” he added when he pulled back to look down into Jay’s face. “Maybe that’s where she gets it from.”

“Ha.” Jay looked too sad to start laughing, casting his gaze down to the floor. “I really am sorry—“

“Oh god. Would you stop, you didn’t do anything! Just spend the day placating Laurie, I’ll see you at the shop tomorrow.”

Mike gave him one more deep kiss before hugging him goodbye, making his way to the door before Jay could blubber about anything else.

“Does your face still hurt?”

“Nope.” This was a lie, though it didn’t hurt nearly as bad as the night before had. He kneeled to put his shoes on, having left them in the foyer per Jay’s demands not to track dirt in. As he dragged them forward he noticed something odd in them, and bit back a groan. As a parting _fuck you_ gift, Laurie had spat up hairballs into both his shoes. Not wanting to make Jay angrier at her, and unable to dispose of them without attracting Jay’s attention, he slid his feet into the mess, turning his grimace to the floor. With that he left, beaming at Jay as he exited the apartment, feeling Laurie’s glare on him as he quickly flicked her off before shutting the door.

Cold grey skies greeted Mike as he made his way home, the first of the month, the first day he’d spend without Jay by his side in weeks. Laying in bed long after he got home he allowed himself to wallow in misery, imagining that this was a sign for how the rest of November would play out, his thoughts spiraling: Jay breaking up with him because his cat couldn’t handle Mike’s constant presence, giving each other longing looks at the shop and going out for the occasional drink but otherwise remaining apart, having to contend with Jay dating other men, another lonely Thanksgiving where Mike drank beer in his apartment alone as Jay spent the long weekend with his family in the country.

He stayed in bed long past the point of it feeling uncomfortable, getting up with a grunt sometime in the late afternoon to shower. Once the water got hot enough he started jerking off mournfully, imagining the morning he should have had after waking up with Jay in his arms, like getting in some morning sex before helping him take down the Halloween decorations that didn’t stay up year round. Instead he’d had to leave right after breakfast to tend to his wounds by himself. There was a moment after he came that he thought he might cry or something.

Sudsing himself while watching his come rinse down the drain, he felt pathetic. Why should he be so worried? Jay had said he loved him — reluctantly, but he’d still said it — and tended to his cuts so lovingly, indulging in Mike’s need to be cared for. Plus he’d acted so guilty, as if he was the one who’d attacked Mike in a fit of rage. There was no reason to believe they would break up.

By the time he toweled off and ordered food, TNG playing in the background, he was far calmer, having no doubt that Jay loved him and wouldn’t abandon him for anyone or anything else, even a cat he was nicer to. His phone pinged, and expecting an update on his food delivery his heart soared when instead saw a text from Jay.

_> how’s your face feeling? _

_> better thanks_

_> ok, good _

_make sure you clean it so it doesn’t get infected._

_> just did in the shower_

_> good. leave the bandaids off if you’re not bleeding, it’s good to give it fresh air. _

Mike laughed, pressing his phone to his chest. He loved Jay so much, could picture so clearly the way Jay would be worrying his bottom lip with his teeth as he typed this, determined to make sure Mike was taking care of himself in his absence.

_> will do nurse jay _

_> very funny _

_> would feel a lot better if you came over in a sexy nurse costume_

_> nice try _

_i’ll see you tomorrow at work_

_can you still pick me up?_

_> of course man_

Jay stopped responding after that, presumably to coddle Laurie after letting his attention stray for five minutes while texting Mike. But whatever. It was fine. Everything would be fine. Some ideas were already forming on how to endear himself more to Laurie, whether she wanted him to or not.

Mike showed up early to Jay’s the following morning, too tense after a day without him to sleep late on a Monday. Jay still took his sweet time, and Mike was practically vibrating out of his seat when Jay finally emerged from the entrance to his apartment building.

“Hey,” Jay said, leaning over to kiss Mike before he’d even sat down. “Your face looks a lot better.”

“How good did it look before?”

“Very handsome, so shut up.” Jay kissed some of the scratches before buckling up. “Also. I made this for you.”He took something wrapped in tin foil out of his massive hoodie pocket, placing it in Mike’s hands.

“It’s a breakfast sandwich,” he said before Mike was even finished unwrapping it. “Bacon, egg, and cheese on a roll.”

“Damn.” Mike was starving, too stressed to eat anything for breakfast before he’d left that morning. He took a huge bite, talking while chewing, hungry enough to not care that it would gross Jay out. “You keep bacon in your apartment?”

“No,” Jay muttered, blushing. “I got it yesterday.”

“Well, shit.” Mike shoved the rest into his mouth, crumpling up the foil and throwing it into the backseat. “You’re spoiling me, baby. I should have your cat maul me more often.”

“The niceties stop here.”

Jay’s face was beet red, refusing to peel his eyes from the floor of the car. He still snickered when Mike slathered sloppy kisses on his cheek, placing his hand on Mike’s knee as they drove to the shop and holding his hand as they opened up for the day.

It was a customer-less day, giving them hours to catch up on the alone time they’d missed. Jay turned down Mike’s advances to hook up in the back room like he always did. Otherwise he was attentive to Mike’s moony stares and constant touches, at least in the morning, tensing up as the day went on. By closing time Jay was a near ball of anxiety, muscles taught as he stared unblinking at the front door.

“You good?” Mike asked when he tried to massage Jay’s shoulders and felt him jerk away instead.

“What—yeah?” Jay turned to look at him, the first time he’d looked away from the door in nearly an hour. “Just, uh. Wh…where do you wanna go after we close?”

“Jesus Christ, is that why you’re so nervous? Jay we’ll just go to your place. I don’t care.”

“Mhm.” Jay looked unconvinced but didn’t try to dispute him. Mike wanted to make a comment like: of course Jay was more distraught about what had happened on Halloween, despite Mike’s face being the one that was mauled. The way Jay’s shoulders were still tense suggested that that would only start an argument he didn’t feel like dealing with, so they locked up the shop and left in silence.

Jay had only gotten more tense during the drive, looking like he would pass out by the time they were standing outside his door.

“Are you expecting her to launch for my face the second I step inside or something?”

“No, I…Mike I just feel bad, okay! Why is that so hard for you to accept?”

“It’s not, jesus, you’re just acting like you set her up to attack me or something with how guilty you’ve been.” Mike faked a stern face and looked down at Jay. “Did you?”

“You’re not funny.” The slight smile trying to escape on Jay’s face said otherwise.

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“I honestly might have her do it on purpose if you keep this up.”

“I knew it.” He kissed Jay, deep, hoping some nosy neighbors were watching out of their peepholes to see him stake his claim on Jay.

“Shit.” He broke off the kiss, his heart soaring when Jay leaned forward like he wasn’t ready for it to be over. “I forgot something in my car.”

“Is this your way of making a quick getaway?”

“Maybe!” Mike called over his shoulder, jogging back to the car. He’d gotten a toy for Laurie, a sort of olive branch, or at the very least something she could focus her attack energy on while Mike made moves on Jay elsewhere in the apartment.

He made a big production of showcasing the bag the toy was in when he got back to the apartment. Jay was lying on the floor, one hand propping up his head while the other stroked Laurie’s back, whose eyes were closed as she purred contently against Jay’s touch. She did not look up to acknowledge Mike, who pushed aside both the rejection and fear that his face would get torn apart to kneel down next to her, Jay’s wary eyes following him the whole way down.

“Hi Laurie,” Mike said, not loving the way his voice shook. The scars on his face throbbed, every instinct he had telling him to get the fuck away from her. He told himself feeling fearful was pathetic, really, and unwarranted. It wasn’t like she was a lion or a tiger or something, just a teeny tiny little house cat. So what if she’d nearly turned his face into chopped meat.

“This is for you, Laurie.” He grabbed the toy from the plastic bag, jiggling it around inside for dramatic flair. She curled closer into Jay, still not looking up.

“Well…enjoy.”

He placed the toy down carefully in front of her. It was a little plastic ball with different shapes cut into its sides, some sort of object too big to fit through any of them inside clanging around. It was supposed to excite her or something, the rattling meant to activate her innate hunting skills. The hope was that she’d be too busy wanting to claw the thing out of the ball to turn those skills on Mike ever again.

Her disinterest faded a little as Mike rolled the ball in front of her, her ears perking up when she heard it start to rattle. When Mike shook it harder her whole body called to attention, her tail standing up as she rolled onto her feet. Her eyes were dilating, near black, and when Mike pushed it toward her she pounced, chasing it around the room every time she batted it away.

Jay was smiling at Mike when he turned to look at him, grabbing for Mike’s arm as he got on his feet.

“C’mon,” he said, dragging Mike to the bedroom. “While she’s distracted.”

“You sure it’s not because you’re hard up for me after a day off?”

“Shut up,” Jay said, his nose twitching in faux irritation. He kissed Mike before shutting the bedroom door behind him. “But. Yes.”

Mike took his time working himself into Jay, fingering him far longer than was necessary, feeding his cock into him slowly, all while Jay writhed and whined beneath him. As desperate as he was to get off himself it felt good to prolong it as long as he could, making Jay even crazier for him after a night apart. He was so distracted in his teasing and eventual hard fucking that he didn’t even realize until they were lying together afterwards that Laurie hadn’t bothered them once.

It felt later than it actually was when they finally peeled out of the warm comfort of Jay’s bed to make dinner. Jay boiled pasta and heated up jarred sauce, too tired to make a more high effort meal, Mike too content being fed by him to care. He sat on the couch as Jay banged around in the kitchen, watching Laurie still chase the ball around the living room. At one point the ball landed near Mike, and Laurie, rather than pounce on it, started to bat at Mike’s feet. He was too startled to be embarrassed about the undignified yelp he let out as Laurie continued attacking his feet, powerless to move them or stop her without risking further attack. It didn’t hurt — her claws were retracted, paws soft — but it was uncomfortable as fuck, and Mike didn’t know how much longer he could stand it.

“What?” Jay yelled out, hurrying into the living room with a worried expression. “What happened?”

“She’s attacking my feet,” Mike said, feeling dumb as soon as he had, doubly so when Jay looked down and started snickering.

“That’s a good thing,” Jay said quickly when he saw the pissed off look on Mike’s face. “She’s trying to play with you. But it does feel really annoying, sorry.”

Mike grunted, wincing against Laurie’s continuedbatting, biting down the sounds of discomfort he wanted to make. From the corner of his eye he saw Jay smile and sort of nod a little before going back to the kitchen. Mike reached over for the ball, careful not to bump into Laurie as he did. He shook it hard to get her attention before tossing it across the room, having no idea if cats played fetch. It seemed like at least Laurie didn’t, who paused her assault on Mike’s feet to look at where the ball had landed before turning her gaze back on him. Mike swore he saw her huff out a little sigh before trotting over to the ball, now keeping it to herself in the corner.

By the time dinner was ready she’d grown bored of the toy, focusing her attention to sharpening her claws on her scratching post as they ate. Mike eyed her all throughout dinner, half paying attention to Jay’s rambling about some shit horror movies he’d seen on Amazon, more focused on worrying that Laurie was sharpening her claws to go after him again, silently praying her jubilation earlier would extend goodwill toward him permanently.

As they watched movies after dinner his fears subsided. Laurie, for once, did not attempt to cram herself between him and Jay on the couch, opting instead to perch herself on top of the scratching post, alternating between sleeping, watching the movie, and watching them. When they made their way to bed she meowed at Mike once before settling at the end, Mike deciding not to push things by trying to pet her while Jay finished up in the bathroom.

The real miracle came in the morning. Mike woke peacefully to the feeling of Jay stirring beside him, feeling like something was off despite how cozy the situation was, unsure why. It didn’t occur to him until he sat up and saw Laurie stretching and licking herself at the edge of the bed, pausing mid-lick when their eyes met. Mike felt his heart speed up as she righted herself and made her way toward him. She had granted him the peace of waking up without her clawing into his skull, but maybe she had just been biding her time to launch a different kind of morning ambush. He kept perfectly still as she crawled into his lap, settling down without breaking eye contact. After a few blinks she relaxed further, putting her head down, purring softly. Mike carefully extracted his arm from under Jay, inching it closer to her until his hand was hovering over her back. When she didn’t hiss in complaint he pressed harder, petting her in firm strokes. At one point he massaged her ears a little, continuing with it when she chirped in response. This also woke Jay, turning to rub the sleep out of his eyes and witness the miracle before him.

“Aww,” he said, voice still snuffy with sleep. “How sweet.”

“Don’t jinx it,” Mike muttered, still petting Laurie, who indulged in it for a few more minutes before leaping out of the bed when the alarm went off, startled. She didn’t go to Mike for pets the rest of the morning or when he stopped by with Jay after work before going back to his place, but Mike still counted it as a win.

Things were a lot easier after that. The marks on Mike’s face faded in little over a week, and every day Laurie would seek Mike out for playtime and cuddles more and more. He bought more toys for her, her face lighting up with excitement whenever he did, delighting in tossing them around. One day he brought over a laser pointer and spent hours teasing her with it, laughing every time she tried to attack the little red dot that would suddenly appear on the wall, the couch, the leg of a chair. She still had her little grudges, like clawing Mike’s head in the morning or crying when they locked her out of rooms or spent too much time not paying attention to her, but she rained these grievances on Jay in equal measure. On mornings when she clawed at Jay’s head she even let Mike pick her up and hug her to relieve Jay of her demands.

The real show of love came when Mike and Jay returned to Jay’s apartment after Thanksgiving, having spent the night at Jay’s parents’ place at the last minute when neither were in a state fit enough to drive home. Laurie was already waiting for them by the time Jay unlocked the door, and rubbed up against their legs in equal, excited measure as they shuffled inside. Jay took their bags as Mike leaned down to pet her, scooping her into his arms and kissing between her ears. She purred against his chest, like there was nowhere else she would rather be.

“She might love you more than me now,’ Jay said when he came back into the living room, Mike still on the floor with Laurie.

“Yeah. All I had to do was buy her love.”

“Would you stop. You didn’t buy her love. You just showed her you wanted her to be included in your life, that’s all.”

“He always has to be right, doesn’t he?” Mike cooed down at Laurie, laughing when she meowed as if in agreement.

“How dare you.” Jay kneeled down next to them, petting what parts of Laurie he could reach from behind Mike’s arm. “Turning my own cat against me.”

“Our cat now.”

“Control yourself.”

Mike snorted, leaning over to kiss Jay, Laurie still in his arms and pressed between them. Mike was sort of hoping he could convince Jay to move in together by Christmas, but wasn’t getting his hopes up.

Then again, he thought as Laurie squirmed in his arms to reach up and nuzzle against his face. Bigger miracles had happened.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to Coq and goodoldfashioned for their advice and insight on cat behavior.


End file.
